Jill
“I want homeless people to feel like they have a home somewhere”
Meet Jill, a 54-year old Vermont native who has found her way to Santa Ana and has been homeless for close to 30 years. I noticed Jill on my way back from buying onions from the grocery store. Her face tattoo was the exact design that my wife has behind your ear. I had to stop and take a moment to introduce myself. Jill spoke highly of her childhood. Her early years were filled with a big house, her own room, cable television, private school education, and her collegiate career paid in full by the time she was four years old. Jill’s step-father, Mr. Benway played a huge role in her life. He married her mom when she was about 3-years old and provided her a life she felt she took for granted. Mr. Benway was a positive role model and would always try to push her in the right direction. He’d remind her that she wasn’t making great choices and to reevaluate who she allowed in her circle. Early on in life, Jill had her first child with whom she considered the love of her life. They spent 6 years together and later had another child along the way. One of her daughters lives close by in Santa Ana and her other daughter lives in Vermont. Jill’s home state of Vermont makes her happy. I saw the spark in her eye as she reminisced on the beautiful trees, the cows, and clean streets that were filled with lush greenery rather than homelessness and prostitution. It was evident that Vermont was her happy place, and she often escapes there in her mind to celebrate her childhood memories.
Jill’s energy is contagious. She’s bold, enthusiastic, and eager to have an opportunity to share her story with me. Through her evident pain, she still possessed a great deal of joy. Her mental illness doesn’t define her, in fact -- she boasts about how her diagnosis has given her purpose to live. When she candidly spoke about her illness she states, “I didn’t have all the tools. Most people consider these deficits. They say things like the only reason I’m alive is because I’m crazy. But the truth is, if I wasn’t crazy I would wake up and kill myself because what i’m seeing is what I don’t fit into.” She expressed her dreams and aspirations with me and said one day she hoped to start a magazine called “Better Homeless Gardens” because she’s pretty well known for building spots that are fused within the beauty of nature and her natural surroundings. Although she makes the most of her current situation, she wants “homeless people to feel like they have a home somewhere”. She longs for the day where she can have her own place with a door and Persian prayer rugs and velvet curtains, and Ipads. She doesn’t believe Tent City is for anyone, and can’t wait for the day she can have a place she will call home.
Jill is a creature of habit. Her whimsical and spontaneous personality brightens up the streets of Santa Ana. She told me stops and makes a wish when the clock strikes 1:11, 11:11, 2:22, or 3:33. She makes the same wish every single day. She says those moments bring her a burst of happiness and gets her stoked for what life has in store for her. Jill’s face tattoo was a product of her time spent in prison. She used her time in prison to strengthen her relationship with her daughters through writing letters of hope and affirmation. She told me that the star tattoo was supposed to be executed while she was still in prison, but they tried -- and it went horribly wrong. So the moment she was released, she went for it. The stars are a representation of her wishes. They symbolize her experiences in life and her charismatic spirit. We’re so happy to have Jill join the Faces of Santa Ana family. Her portrait is currently for sale!